My Recent Struggle

Hello everyone,

I apologize that I haven’t posted in a very long time. After college life just seems to get in the way of all the little things you want to do rather then have to do.

I am writing today because I have experienced the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. My husband and I found out we were pregnant with our miracle baby earlier this fall. After turning my life upside down to make sure everything would be perfect for our growing family we found out our baby had stopped developing. There was nothing we could do but cry and morn this little miracle that we are never going to meet.

I waited weeks to have a natural miscarriage because I didn’t think I could mentally deal with the idea of surgery. It turned out that my body wasn’t able to detect that the baby had stoped developing and I had to go through the procedure regardless of how hard it would be. I prayed for so long to become pregnant and I knew walking into the hospital that day that when I woke up I would no longer be pregnant. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Early last year my husband and I were told that we would have very little time to have our own child and after trying for so long it seemed like nothing would work. I finally gave up hope on having my own child, I started focusing on a career and looked forward to the day that we could afford to adopt or find a surrogate to bless us with a completed family.

Then this miracle happened and I can’t begin to tell you how much it filled my life and my heart with happiness. I would have moved mountains for this little baby. And although I know there was nothing I could do to prevent this from happening I feel as if I have failed my family my husband and myself.

I know one day I will have the perfect family wether that be by giving birth or adoption. But the sadness this has caused has been the hardest thing I have had to endure.

I am writing this today because I have felt very alone in this time and I hope none of you ever experience this sadness. But if you ever find yourself in this horrible situation know that you are not alone. So many women go through this but we are too embarrassed or sad or heartbroken to talk about it. This has not been easy for me to write but if I can help one person feel as if they are not alone it was well worth my tears.

I am very lucky to have a strong support system of family and friends who love me. But the truth is not many people know what to say or what to do to help. It’s a very hard thing to understand if you have not been through this yourself.

I love you all, thank you for continuing to be a line of love and support!

Thank you to all my friends and family who have showed me all there love and support. You mean the world to me.

Xoxo

Michelle

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Dress sizes can’t define, don’t let the world decide what’s beautiful

Hello Everyone,

I want to thank you all for the overwhelming amount of E-mails I received after my last post! They were all filled with kindness and love; I really have missed you all!!

Today I am writing to you all because of one email I got in particular! I received a very emotional and heartfelt letter from a high school sophomore.

She told me that she has always been struggling with her weight but has always considered herself to be beautiful! Until high school when people began to pick on her because of her size. She goes on to tell me that these girls have not only been embarrassing her but also have started to change how she sees herself and views her own body.

While reading this Email, I was almost in tears; no one should feel this way about themselves, and when these feelings are caused by the cruelty and ignorance of others, it is just so sad and it breaks my heart!

Now I can say that you shouldn’t listen to the cruel words of others, and only you can define how you feel about yourself, but in reality, this is almost impossible to do! Our peers play such a big part in our everyday life that it is so hard to ignore their opinions.

The best advice I can give someone in this position is to be strong, understand that you are beautiful and understand that there is a cruelty in this world that is not fair. Be the bigger person and don’t forget to put yourself first! Love yourself, know your worth and beauty, and truly love yourselves!

 

Love you all,

Michelle

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Hello World

Hello Everyone,

I must apologize for my extended absence! I must say I have been a very busy girl, most recently I have started grad school!

I was offered a full assistantship! Allowing me to go to school as well as get a great experience of working as a Teaching Assistant, enabling me to teach classes, and do some real world hands on research!

I just finished my first week, and so far I have no complaints, it is so nice being back to school.

Me and Tyler also through a celebration of our marriage, a second reception! As many of you know our wedding ceremony was planned ver quickly and even though it was fantastic it was very nice to have a bigger party that all our friends and family could attend!

It’s been a crazy and fun summer!

I am hoping to get back to you all more regularly; I am going to make an honest effort! I miss all of my web friends! Let me know if there is anything you want me to touch upon in the next few days!

Talk to you all soon!

Lots of love,

Michelle

 

Don’t Be A Catfish

Hello Everyone,

I hope your Wednesday has been going great!

Today I decided to binge watch Cat Fish with my free day. I have to say I am an addict when it comes to this show and although many times the show follows a very similar process and outcome I still enjoy all the episodes I watch.

The show has made me realize how hard it is for people who can’t accept who they are. People go to extraordinary lengths when they feel uncomfortable with themselves. This show is filled with people who pretend to be someone else to start a relationship online.

The truly sad part of this show is the fact that most of these people are wonderful people who would make great girlfriends or boyfriends but they have so little self esteem they pretend to be someone they are not.

Some of these people are overweight, some have been bullied in the past, and others are too shy to communicate as themselves. Sure some people do this for devious reasons but many people just need more confidence and to find love for themselves.

Even though many people do not wish to hurt anyone most of the time things have gone too far and people are being hurt.

I hope that if any of you struggle so badly with self esteem you seek help and acceptance. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are,  you shouldn’t have to pretend to be someone else to feel loved.

I hope you all no you you are worth loving. Check out tonight’s Catfish special on MTV tonight.

Love you all,
Michelle

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Mindfulness

Hello Everyone!

Happy Saturday!

Today I want to talk to everyone about mindfulness! This is a post that my mother-in-law suggested but I didn’t know much about! After looking into mindfulness I realize it is the perfect topic for today!

So what is mindfulness? It is basically being aware of what’s happening the external and internal factors of life! It’s becoming aware of our thoughts feelings and experiences!

How can you practice mindfulness? Just make an effort of being present and aware. Some people choose to do this through meditation. Some people choose to do this through photography or Journaling; while others just set aside some time to absorb, realize and be mindful!

I hope you all take some time to be mindful and recognize these things that we so often over look in life!

Love you all,
Michelle

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What’s in my husband’s carryon? (Guest Post)

Hi Everyone!

I hope you’re all doing well! In preparation for our honeymoon trip to Disney, we’re packing our carry-ons! Michelle did hers already, and she asked me if I wanted to do mine so I thought I would!

I travel a bit lighter than Michelle in most cases, but there are still some essentials that I need to take on the plane with me (In my lovely Marvel backpack).

First, I have my book to keep me entertained while on the plane. This is an absolute essential because more often than not you can find me reading! Currently, I’m reading Battle for Honor: Rebirth. I’ll recommend this to anyone who has a taste for fantasy books, it’s extremely well written and one of my favorite books so far!

Along with my book, I have my electronics. I have a phone charger because I never know when I’m going to need to charge my phone. I also have my Disney wristband so I don’t have to carry a credit card or anything else with me in the park. I’ve always liked this because i have a terrible habit of leaving things somewhere and forgetting where I leave them. I also have my Apple headphones for music, and just in case I don’t have an outlet to charge my phone I have my portable charger made by DYNEX! This thing works awesome and has saved my butt more times than i can count when I’m traveling for for work.

I have my sunglasses By Kreed so I’m not blinded by the sun, and some tissues Star Wars just in case!

But that’s what’s in my carry-on! Like I said, I don’t usually need much = but these are what I consider essential when traveling!

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Bathing Suits

Hello Everyone,

Happy Tuesday! As you all know I will be leaving for my vacation to Disney World in less than two weeks! I am very excited to be getting the chance to spend a full week of no school and no work with my husband, and I am also just as excited to spend the next two weeks shopping for all the summer clothes we will need for the beautiful Florida weather.

Sundresses, sunglasses, shorts, tank tops, all the things I have missed living in the frigid cold the last few months. However, there is one down side to all this fun! Bathing suit shopping…..

No one likes it, basically it is shopping for a piece of clothing that will display all your insecurities to the world. The public beach to a  hotel pool… The places where everyone pretends to flaunt it but are really screaming with insecurity and trying to ignore the sudden low self-esteem that these swim suits generate.

It is only the first day of March and were I am from that means another month and a half of layers and chunky sweaters, a nice comfort zone! But to be going to Florida in only two weeks, trust me no northern girl is ready for the swimsuit!

But is this one stupid insecurity worth ruining a week away I have been looking forward to? Absolutely NOT!

Today I am going to go out to conquer my fears of the swim suit department, I will look at those swim suits with an intimidating smirk and realize that a piece of clothing is not worth ruining my self-esteem!  I will win the fight against swim suits!

I think it is important to love your own skin and feel confident in your body so why do I have to worry about having a six pack to enjoy 20 minutes at a hotel pool? I don’t I just need to know I am beautiful and let my confidence overpower all my insecurities.

You are all beautiful! I will update you all on Instagram tonight, if you want to see how my bath suit shopping went!

Wish Me Luck,

Michelle

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Fly with me to Neverland

Hello Everyone!

I hope you all are enjoying this gorgeous Sunday morning! 

I wanted to let you know of something that I am extremely excited about! 

In just 15 days Tyler and I will be boarding a plane to Disney world! And I’m taking you all with me!

I will be blogging everyday about what we have seen, what we have done, and  basically my blog will be filled with magic for a week! 

I will be covering everything from what rides we go on to where we plan to eat! 

I hope you all join me for a week of Disney Magic! My first post will begin the 13th with the prep and the last post will be on the 19th with our flight home! 

I’m so excited to share this adventure with all of you!

Love you all,

Michelle

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Healthy Body Healthy Mind

Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk to you all about being good to your body and staying healthy! This is not a talk about how to lose weight or any crazy diets! It’s about YOU and your HEALTH!

I am an active supporter in keeping a healthy diet! It just makes you feel better. The saying you are what you eat is 100% true. You only have one body do not through away your one chance to live an exciting and healthy life.

Know I am not saying to live off of green smoothies and kale for the rest of you life (although they are good) but just make a conscious effort to feed your body good food! Choose a side salad over fries and drink water instead of soda, just these little changes can make a world of differences!

I am not a gym person, and I never have been. I feel weird being in a room packed full of sweaty people who honestly do not want to be there! and I get so bored staring at the same white walls while running on a stationary machine. Because of this, I exercise at home! I do a simple yoga video every other day and, belief me, it makes a world of difference!

I have always had problems with my back, constant visits to the chiropractor is a norm for me. But since I started doing yoga it has made a world of difference. I roll out my yoga mat in my living room and pick a workout off of Hulu ( the one in the picture is Yasmin Yoga), and I just do it I can pause it if I have to do something its perfect for me!

There are so many free exercise videos on youtube or on demand; you can pick what you want! From yoga to pilates, from boxing to weightlifting there’s no excuse why everyone can;t exercise!

I hope you all choose to keep your bodies healthy and happy.

Namaste,

Michelle

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An Open Letter To My Readers

Hello Everyone,

I hope you enjoyed the guest post from my husband yesterday! He was very excited to get to know you all!

Today I want to write to you about why I made this blog in the first place! Yesterday was my 100th post and I celebrated 3 years on wordpress last week! I feel like its about time that I restate my intent behind this blog.

I started writing my freshman year of college. It started as a way to relieve stress and feel like I was putting some good into the world. I wanted to write to women who needed a confidence boost and a little bit of help seeing their self worth!

I am a true believer that everyone is beautiful and we all deserve to know it! When I first started I was just hoping to reach a few girls and help them with the words I wrote! I remember when I got my first comment saying I helped someone, it was the best feeling ever! Over time I started receiving messages from girls asking for my advice and opinions, this is where a good chunk of my posts came from, I figured if one girl is having these problems others must be too!

I was very happy with my readers I felt like even though I had few readers I was helping those who I was able to reach. But last year everything blew up! I started getting hundreds of subscribers a day and thousands upon thousands of viewers. I tried to keep up with the messages but I am only one person. I began to feel like I wasn’t doing enough for all of you and that I was inadequate to be trying to help so many people. My posts began to get less frequent and eventually I stopped posting for months at a time.

Quite recently I have decided that I can only do the best I can but I still want to help! I am back to blogging everyday and trying to help as many people as I can. I must admit that writing anything that hundreds of thousands of people are going to read is a little daunting but I believe that my words can help!

I  hope you have all enjoyed reading my posts over the last three years. Thank you for sticking with me, you all have told me time and time again of how much I have helped you, but you all have helped me too! You all have become my friends, people who I look forward to sharing my stories with. You have been with me through breakups, bad hair cuts, loss of family members, loss of friends, an engagement, and a marriage! So for always being on the other side of the internet I thank you!

I promise to do my very best to always be a loyal friend to all of you and to keep sharing love and advice!

With Love,

Michelle

 

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