My Recent Struggle

Hello everyone,

I apologize that I haven’t posted in a very long time. After college life just seems to get in the way of all the little things you want to do rather then have to do.

I am writing today because I have experienced the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. My husband and I found out we were pregnant with our miracle baby earlier this fall. After turning my life upside down to make sure everything would be perfect for our growing family we found out our baby had stopped developing. There was nothing we could do but cry and morn this little miracle that we are never going to meet.

I waited weeks to have a natural miscarriage because I didn’t think I could mentally deal with the idea of surgery. It turned out that my body wasn’t able to detect that the baby had stoped developing and I had to go through the procedure regardless of how hard it would be. I prayed for so long to become pregnant and I knew walking into the hospital that day that when I woke up I would no longer be pregnant. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Early last year my husband and I were told that we would have very little time to have our own child and after trying for so long it seemed like nothing would work. I finally gave up hope on having my own child, I started focusing on a career and looked forward to the day that we could afford to adopt or find a surrogate to bless us with a completed family.

Then this miracle happened and I can’t begin to tell you how much it filled my life and my heart with happiness. I would have moved mountains for this little baby. And although I know there was nothing I could do to prevent this from happening I feel as if I have failed my family my husband and myself.

I know one day I will have the perfect family wether that be by giving birth or adoption. But the sadness this has caused has been the hardest thing I have had to endure.

I am writing this today because I have felt very alone in this time and I hope none of you ever experience this sadness. But if you ever find yourself in this horrible situation know that you are not alone. So many women go through this but we are too embarrassed or sad or heartbroken to talk about it. This has not been easy for me to write but if I can help one person feel as if they are not alone it was well worth my tears.

I am very lucky to have a strong support system of family and friends who love me. But the truth is not many people know what to say or what to do to help. It’s a very hard thing to understand if you have not been through this yourself.

I love you all, thank you for continuing to be a line of love and support!

Thank you to all my friends and family who have showed me all there love and support. You mean the world to me.

Xoxo

Michelle

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Dress sizes can’t define, don’t let the world decide what’s beautiful

Hello Everyone,

I want to thank you all for the overwhelming amount of E-mails I received after my last post! They were all filled with kindness and love; I really have missed you all!!

Today I am writing to you all because of one email I got in particular! I received a very emotional and heartfelt letter from a high school sophomore.

She told me that she has always been struggling with her weight but has always considered herself to be beautiful! Until high school when people began to pick on her because of her size. She goes on to tell me that these girls have not only been embarrassing her but also have started to change how she sees herself and views her own body.

While reading this Email, I was almost in tears; no one should feel this way about themselves, and when these feelings are caused by the cruelty and ignorance of others, it is just so sad and it breaks my heart!

Now I can say that you shouldn’t listen to the cruel words of others, and only you can define how you feel about yourself, but in reality, this is almost impossible to do! Our peers play such a big part in our everyday life that it is so hard to ignore their opinions.

The best advice I can give someone in this position is to be strong, understand that you are beautiful and understand that there is a cruelty in this world that is not fair. Be the bigger person and don’t forget to put yourself first! Love yourself, know your worth and beauty, and truly love yourselves!

 

Love you all,

Michelle

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Hello World

Hello Everyone,

I must apologize for my extended absence! I must say I have been a very busy girl, most recently I have started grad school!

I was offered a full assistantship! Allowing me to go to school as well as get a great experience of working as a Teaching Assistant, enabling me to teach classes, and do some real world hands on research!

I just finished my first week, and so far I have no complaints, it is so nice being back to school.

Me and Tyler also through a celebration of our marriage, a second reception! As many of you know our wedding ceremony was planned ver quickly and even though it was fantastic it was very nice to have a bigger party that all our friends and family could attend!

It’s been a crazy and fun summer!

I am hoping to get back to you all more regularly; I am going to make an honest effort! I miss all of my web friends! Let me know if there is anything you want me to touch upon in the next few days!

Talk to you all soon!

Lots of love,

Michelle

 

What’s In My Carry On

Hello Everyone,

I have 5 days until I leave for Disney! As you might be able to tell I am so excited to be starting this adventure. Not only is this our spring break trip but our honeymoon! We went on a weekend trip to Connecticut right after our wedding so that we could save the money and find a time to go to Disney.
Well now it is less then a week away and am getting all gitty just thinking about the morning we leave!
Today I packed my carry on filled with all the things I will try to entertain myself with. So here is what is in my Darth Vader carry on:

  • My hot pink HP laptop (so I can keep up with all of you)
  • Yes cucumber face wipes (always need to refresh after a day of travel)
  • My Vera Bradley wallet (it is the perfect size to keep everything you need for travel)
  • A mini hair brush by precision beauty (great quality and perfect size)
  • My notebook and calendar book (work on ideas for the blog, of course!)
  • A new pair of Skullcandy headphones (the only headphones I use)
  • My favorite YBF lipstick (Check them out, I love the shade pumpkin spice)
  • Star Wars tissues (to go with my Vader bag, of course)
  • Iphone charger (can’t travel with out power)
  • A fun pair of sunglasses (designed by Merona)
  • The book A night in with Audrey Hepburn by Lucy Holliday ( loving it so far, book review after the vacation)
  • Of course my Disney Magic Band so we can jump straight to the magic when we land in Orlando

Love you all,

Michelle

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Fly with me to Neverland

Hello Everyone!

I hope you all are enjoying this gorgeous Sunday morning! 

I wanted to let you know of something that I am extremely excited about! 

In just 15 days Tyler and I will be boarding a plane to Disney world! And I’m taking you all with me!

I will be blogging everyday about what we have seen, what we have done, and  basically my blog will be filled with magic for a week! 

I will be covering everything from what rides we go on to where we plan to eat! 

I hope you all join me for a week of Disney Magic! My first post will begin the 13th with the prep and the last post will be on the 19th with our flight home! 

I’m so excited to share this adventure with all of you!

Love you all,

Michelle

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Some People Are Worth Melting For

Hello Everyone,

I hope you all are enjoying your weekend so far! Today I want to write to you about friendship!

My mother always told me to pick my friends wisely. They are one of the biggest influences you will have in life! They are people who can help you by encouraging you to feel and be the best you can be. But they are also people who could convince you to do stupid things or lower your self esteem.

To me this was really important I believe that I did pick my friends wisely! My friends are people who are supportive and optimistic. They are always there when you need them and in return you need to always there when they need you.

I have been best friends with Jill since 1st grade. She is one of the most important people in my life and I have no doubt that she will always be my best friend.

I may have only been 6 years old but I understood the importance of friendship and how picking a good friend could help me in life! Jill has been through everything with me from first grade through my wedding day! I know she will be there to help me celebrate graduating college just as I will be there to help her celebrate! She will be one of the first people to hold my child one day. That is the best part of having a childhood friend grow with you! They become like family because they have always been there and always will be.

I hope you all realize the importance of friendship and that it really is not about quantity but quality. You choose your friends and let them into your life make sure you surround yourself with people who will help pick you up when you need it and will always be there during the fun and the not so fun times!  One thing to remember… if you can fill one hand with true friends you are extremely wealthy!

Friends are important so pick them wisely!

Love you all,

Michelle

Why I Stand With Ke$ha

Hello Everyone.

Today I want to talk to you about a very sensitive and controversial topic.
In the news lately you all have heard about Ke$ha suing to be released from a 6 record contract with SONY Music. She has alleged that she was drugged and raped by producer DR Luke. A few days ago a NY judge made the ruling that Ke$ha will not be allowed out of her contract.
To me this is an extremely important issue to talk about. There are hundreds of woman and men who will fall victim of sexual abuse, assault or rape but because these topics are so taboo in our society many of them will not come forward about what happened. Ke$ha was strong and stood up she told her story to the world and in return was ordered by a judge to continue with this contract.
Ke$ha left the courthouse in tears because of this ruling. I can not imagine the disappointment and fear she felt walking out of the court house. To have a story this sensitive blasted all over the front pages. Just to lose a fight this important would be so heart breaking. My heart and prayers go out to her!
What I really want to push for all of my readers is the importance talking about topics such a rape and assault. No one should ever feel like a situation such as this is their own fault. It doesn’t matter how you are dressed or if you have been drinking. Both rape and assault are illegal and anyone who would take advantage of another person deserves to be held responsible.
You should not be embarrassed  to speak up and tell someone if something this horrible happens to you. If you know someone encourage them to tell the authorities. Your body is your own no one else has the right to do anything to you without your consent!
I hope none of you ever have to deal with something this horrible. And I apologize for having to touch upon such a sensitive topic but I feel like it is important to talk about this so more people know that it is okay to come forward if they have been victimized by anyone!
 
Love you all,
Michelle 

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Healthy Body Healthy Mind

Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk to you all about being good to your body and staying healthy! This is not a talk about how to lose weight or any crazy diets! It’s about YOU and your HEALTH!

I am an active supporter in keeping a healthy diet! It just makes you feel better. The saying you are what you eat is 100% true. You only have one body do not through away your one chance to live an exciting and healthy life.

Know I am not saying to live off of green smoothies and kale for the rest of you life (although they are good) but just make a conscious effort to feed your body good food! Choose a side salad over fries and drink water instead of soda, just these little changes can make a world of differences!

I am not a gym person, and I never have been. I feel weird being in a room packed full of sweaty people who honestly do not want to be there! and I get so bored staring at the same white walls while running on a stationary machine. Because of this, I exercise at home! I do a simple yoga video every other day and, belief me, it makes a world of difference!

I have always had problems with my back, constant visits to the chiropractor is a norm for me. But since I started doing yoga it has made a world of difference. I roll out my yoga mat in my living room and pick a workout off of Hulu ( the one in the picture is Yasmin Yoga), and I just do it I can pause it if I have to do something its perfect for me!

There are so many free exercise videos on youtube or on demand; you can pick what you want! From yoga to pilates, from boxing to weightlifting there’s no excuse why everyone can;t exercise!

I hope you all choose to keep your bodies healthy and happy.

Namaste,

Michelle

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An Open Letter To My Readers

Hello Everyone,

I hope you enjoyed the guest post from my husband yesterday! He was very excited to get to know you all!

Today I want to write to you about why I made this blog in the first place! Yesterday was my 100th post and I celebrated 3 years on wordpress last week! I feel like its about time that I restate my intent behind this blog.

I started writing my freshman year of college. It started as a way to relieve stress and feel like I was putting some good into the world. I wanted to write to women who needed a confidence boost and a little bit of help seeing their self worth!

I am a true believer that everyone is beautiful and we all deserve to know it! When I first started I was just hoping to reach a few girls and help them with the words I wrote! I remember when I got my first comment saying I helped someone, it was the best feeling ever! Over time I started receiving messages from girls asking for my advice and opinions, this is where a good chunk of my posts came from, I figured if one girl is having these problems others must be too!

I was very happy with my readers I felt like even though I had few readers I was helping those who I was able to reach. But last year everything blew up! I started getting hundreds of subscribers a day and thousands upon thousands of viewers. I tried to keep up with the messages but I am only one person. I began to feel like I wasn’t doing enough for all of you and that I was inadequate to be trying to help so many people. My posts began to get less frequent and eventually I stopped posting for months at a time.

Quite recently I have decided that I can only do the best I can but I still want to help! I am back to blogging everyday and trying to help as many people as I can. I must admit that writing anything that hundreds of thousands of people are going to read is a little daunting but I believe that my words can help!

I  hope you have all enjoyed reading my posts over the last three years. Thank you for sticking with me, you all have told me time and time again of how much I have helped you, but you all have helped me too! You all have become my friends, people who I look forward to sharing my stories with. You have been with me through breakups, bad hair cuts, loss of family members, loss of friends, an engagement, and a marriage! So for always being on the other side of the internet I thank you!

I promise to do my very best to always be a loyal friend to all of you and to keep sharing love and advice!

With Love,

Michelle

 

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Learning when to say no (Guest Post!)

Hi everyone! My name is Tyler and I am Michelle’s husband! Michelle isn’t feeling well today so she asked me if I wanted to step in and write a little something for you all! A little about myself: I’m 21 years old, and I’m in my last semester of my undergrad studying sociology. I also work at a residential treatment facility for juvenile delinquents as a youth counselor, and hopefully plan to work there after I graduate. In my spare time I also stream video games to Twitch! If you’re interested you can find me at twitch.tv/ttrites

Michelle said I could write about pretty much anything today, so I decided to write about when to say no. One of the clinicians at work gave me some advice the other day that really stuck with me. She said “When it’s most difficult to say no, for whatever reason, It’s probably the most important time to say it.” This advice really hit home for me because in my line of work I need to set boundaries and enforce rules that the residents don’t always agree with. But, these rules are there for a reason, and they are being enforced for their own good.

I really believe that this advice is applicable to other parts of life too. Sometimes with things like peer pressure or other factors in life, it’s really hard to say no to things that you have a bad gut feeling about. Or you might know that it’s the wrong thing to do, but feel pressured to say yes for any number of reasons. It’s times like these where you’ll thank yourself later for going with that gut feeling, and keeping yourself safe.

Now don’t get me wrong, new experiences are what makes life exciting and sometimes really interesting. But if you get yourself into a situation where you really feel strongly that you should say no, you should! Follow your gut feelings, and trust in your own judgement.

I actually really liked doing this! From what I can tell you all are lovely people and I’m so glad Michelle can write for a community that is as nice as all of you! Hope to see you again soon!

-Tyler

 

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