I am so sorry it has been so so long since my last post!
Since we last spoke a lot has changed in my life! Many of you know from my previous post Tyler and I experienced a miscarriage in November of 2018. I can’t begin to express the pain it caused. I began to give up on a lot of aspects of starting a family because of the pain that trying to plan and failing was causing. I felt like a lot of my happiness became forced and writing to help inspire women just did not seem right during this time in my life.
Since then Tyler and I have been blessed with a beautiful miracle! Little miss Emma Rose arrived a few weeks ago and she is absolutely perfect in every way. She was the answer to all our prayers and every day when I look at her I know she is my miracle. It was not an easy journey but this little miracle makes everything I faced worth it.
We found out in November that I was pregnant again, almost exactly one year after our loss. Every day of the last 9 months I was terrified of never getting the chance to meet the little girl that I already loved so much! I had panic attacks daily and was in constant fear that something could be wrong.
The morning of my first ultrasound I couldn’t stop shaking I was violently ill and couldn’t stop crying. I remember walking into the room shaking and crying. It seemed to take hours for the technician to look at everything I was sure something was wrong. But then I saw the heart beating and she told me that everything looked normal. At the doctors appointment I had next they told me there was less then a 5% chance of anything going wrong at that stage in my pregnancy but even that couldn’t stop the fear.
My pregnancy was very hard I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, severe morning sickness, it lasted from my 3rd week till I delivered. I also had problems with my diabetes with my blood sugars plummeting into the 30s and 40s at all times. With the severe nausea and vomiting it made it impossible to get my sugars higher since I couldn’t eat. I was hospitalized on a weekly basis.
I had to stop working and go on disability in January. The hospital I work at was fantastic and did everything they could to support and help. I have amazing family who constantly helped and supported us every step of the way. And great friends who did everything they could. This time helped me realize how truly blessed we are for the people in our lives.
At my 20 week ultrasound they found a VSD, basically a small hole in her heart. They told me it shouldn’t cause any problems and would hopefully close on its own before she was born. Even though they didn’t think there would be a problem it was another thing for my to worry about. I had to go for three fetal echocardiogram the first one confirmed the hole in her heart, the second one determined it was small, about 1.5 mm, and then finally the third one confirmed the VSD had closed. What a relieve that was!
I was scheduled to be induced on June 28th, the weekend before we were finally ready for Emma’s arrival. The bassinet, changing table, baby gear, crib and car seats where all ready for Emma when she arrived.
We were sure glad that we finished everything the week before because Emma decided to arrive a few days early. The night of June 26th I went into labor, my contractions started irregular, soon they got more regular but still 8 minutes apart. While watching the amazing race finale everything started picking up with contractions every 2 minutes lasting just under a minute in length. Tyler jokes this was because my favorite team was eliminated early in the episode and the stress caused the labor to progress. As we were packing up the car with the hospital bag, pillows, and diaper bag. Tyler called the doctors and they instructed us to come right in. When I got there the contractions were less then a minute apart some of them doubling. I was admitted right away and brought into the labor and delivery rooms.
I got an epidural to help the pain and hopefully relax me a little bit. They had to do two epidurals because my scoliosis caused a problem with my first. But once everything was done the pain had improved drastically and I could sleep.
The epidural did slow my labor so I was able to sleep through the night and most of the next day without pain. Around 4:00pm on June 27th I woke in pain again, I called the nurses. They did an exam at that point I was 10 CM and was ready to push. Between every push I asked for Emmas heart rate to make sure she was okay. Like I said I was in constant fear until I delivered.
After 39 minutes of pushing Emma had arrived and she was absolutely perfect. I cried my eyes out and thanked all the doctors and nurses for taking care of her and making she she was okay. I instantly felt joy and relief and love!
My prayers had been answered I have the perfect little family and the most beautiful and amazing daughter! I am truly thankful and so blessed! I can not wait to watch her grow into an amazing, strong woman.
I will begin writing more and sharing all of Emma’s milestones, I hope you all continue to read and follow. Thank you all for your patience and support, I hope my story brings anyone experiencing these troubles hope, I am always available to chat!
I would like you all to meet little Miss Emma Rose born 6/27/19 at 4:41 PM weighing 6 Pounds 1.4 oz 17.5 inches long… our rainbow, our miracle!